I want to be there when the bullet hit

Thank you so much

I am forever fucking up everything I possibly can, I just want to be happy and I want to stop feeling like this fucking hell I haven’t hurt myself in over a month now but Idk how much longer I can last. Why does everything I do and say turn to complete shit why does no one want me around why is it so easy for people to live without me how do I make myself someone that people like idk everyone leaves me so easily I feel so unwanted rn ugh